So i learned i have the house to myself for three days and two nights and my parents are leeting me have like 2-3 friends stay with me. .. and though we are going to have a blast there really is one person id really like to share it with too .. buttt ohh welll   ... so hrmmmmm Okey today i came home from school and was supposed to help my mom clean my room.  First off it is MY room I should be allowed to do whatever i want with it.  If i want to live with no dirt in it or if i want to live in a scum of a joint that should be my decision.  SO anwyas me and my  mom goin in a HUGGGE FIGHT about cleaning my room ... lets just say we arent speaking at the moment .   Soo there is no question of the day and nothing really to write abotu except.... how come i can not care about something one second and then do a complete 360 and find myself so upset about it ..... God i get so mad at myself.. I need to learn to just be happy wtih what i have.  And yes i am very grateful for what i have but..... i hate feeling lonely . 

ps i think my dog molly is going to die shes very sick .. please keep her in your prayers.. i love her so much! I'd really appreciate it thanks !

PSS... I have a very sucky cold .. keep that in your prayers.. and if you dont i promise to sneeze/cough on you

Currently Reading The Truth About Diamonds: A Novel By Nicole Richie see related

The question of the day is .. do girls really know what they want? ... do we just really think we need someone or something to make us happy.. some girls turn to shopping to make then happy, some girls turn to food, some girsl turn to a boy and some girls turn to Multiple guys.  I started questioning myself today.. do i really want to be tied down to one guy?  Do i even want a guy during high school.. besides whats the point.. you start liking a guy they are kinda shaky at first then they start hanging out and seems like they really like you getting you attached. . then either you dont like them cus they are to clingy... or they break your heart.  How come its alwasy the boy you like that doesnt want you and then the nice guys that would do anything to be with you .. you dont want.  I always want what I cant have.. and that scares me .. what if when im older the guy actually likes me and i wont want to get married cus i dont really like boys when they seem so interested.. do i just like the chase of getting someone and once they have been defeated  i lose interest... but then i guess there were those gusy i stuck around to cus they treated me like shit .. do we really just like to be treated like shit and fantasize about how good a real guy could be.... i guess the real point to this is .. I will never know what i truly want. 

so anywyas .. today... I went to school.. was really peppy at the morning announcements :-X... then came home early slept and then went to toys hair appt wtih her and shelly.. now illl prolly lay down and wait for the bachelor to come on!

Currently Listening I Am the Movie By Motion City Soundtrack see related

So i am sitting here thinking writing is what id like to do for my future... every since this new "myspace revalation".. I completely forgot how much i loved to write about my life, and what i did.  I find it amazing to be able to look back at what i did. With that being said.... I decided to start this up again... 

 So I realized something today.. note to self.. I am not perfect .. I can come off as a stalker...sometimes guys can be jerks..

Reasons why i am not perfect saturday night me and my three best friends did the dumbest thing we could have ever done.  It does not need to be mentioned, but I think we all know it was wrong.  Not only could we have killed ourselves, but other people.  I think we all learned a great lesson, and learned from our mistake.   Though the outcome at Kings was fun. 

Reasons why I can come off as a stalker.. I realized the truth comes out when you are drunk.  I realized I alwasy tend to call this one person.  Not because I am crazy obsessed and miss it.. but that I cant stand being ignored and not being wanted.  It is one of my biggest pet peeves.  I hate not getting what i want, it drives me insane.  And i Hate not being friends with someone after liking them.  I am really not used to it.  I am used to liking someone (being the dumper or the dumpee) and still being friends and hanging out.  I guess this is something I have to get used to. 

Reasons why guys can be jerks... I recently have noticed some boys being really mean to girls.. or just using them.  They dont understand it really hurts.  ONE you NEVER hit a girl or degrate her in a way to say such rude things to them.  Does it make you feel so big and tough to hit a girl.  Obviously that makes you look like such a wimp.  Two.. Dont ever call a girl such horrible names.... girls have a heart... a lot more sensative than a boy would ever know.   And then use a girl,.. they have a heart.. and sometimes girls do things cus they are scared and they want to feel cared for.. dont take advantage of it.. be a little mature.   Sometimes they just dont understand. 

about my weekend... Friday I worked.. and watched red eye with my parents.  Saturday I hung out and layed around being lazy with toy and shelly all day and then got ready and went out for the night with them and reitler.  I realized how close i have became with my girls and  i love them so much and dont know what i would do without them  sunday i worked wtih shelly all day where we got lost on a delivery. I then came home and hung out with my parents and my wonderful sister.. where i saw chase for a bit.  It was very fun

Well that's all for tonight ill be sure to update later. 

Currently Listening The Young and Hopeless By Good Charlotte see related

- SAY ANYTHING

WOW have things changed, i realized im not my happy go lucky self at all anymore.  This is a permenent attitude it seems.  Everyone around me is changing minus my family and few close group of friends.  The boys in our grade don't even invite us girls with them anymore.  They either want younger girls, or slutty girls.  I realized that basically its time to let it go.  The one person I thought would never change has... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE .. one of my (old) best GUY friends.  I never thought theere would be a day where we coudlnt relate and talk or hang out... but now theres nothing we have in common and we dont even get along anymore.  His friends get mad at me for being rude or bring drama to him, but the only reason i yell at him is cus i care about this person hes turned into, hes not hte same as he used to be, hes turned into this cold hearted person i cant even relate to anymore.  for that im sorry luke, troup, colin, and the rest of HIS friends... i do it casue i care.  Wow what else.. i learned i cannot handle stress at all lately i find myself breaking down on the floor crying, minus the times i am with my wonderful friends or around my comforting family.  This job thing has really made my anxiety go up a knotch. School is already becoming a major hassle... so much work to be done all the time,,, so many tests... and i have an english assignment thats due.  its just annoying, weight to be lost i never have time to exercise im either to tired or busy...

on a brighter note, the gayest/funniest convo of my life

Erica02H: eww thats gross
Erica02H: french toast crunch
Nick 77 Townsend: erica hughes
Nick 77 Townsend: eww thats gross
Erica02H: hahah
Erica02H: well that is a cereal
Nick 77 Townsend: hahahaha woah someones a smartass these days
Nick 77 Townsend: im sure once your fame grows beyond kittanning, you'll have your own cereal
Nick 77 Townsend: you might be on a wheaties box
Erica02H: omg what if i was
Erica02H: making the gay thumbs up sign with a big winky on my face
Erica02H: OKEY NOT LITERALLY A WINKY I MEAN MY EYE IS WINKING
Nick 77 Townsend: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha omgggggggg hahahahahahahaha

so kiss me ........